Redneck Investin Part 2 – The evolved Redneck – READ before RIOT

by globalintelhub, 2016

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-09-21/redneck-investin-part-2-evolved-redneck-read-riot

Due to the events in Charlotte, of which the participants are mostly of the lower class, and spectators of the upper; we thought it timely to release Part 2 in our Redneck series, Redneck Investin’ – a Look from the other side. You can read part 1 here. We released Splitting Pennies – Understanding Forex for the common man to understand the financial system from another perspective. We encourage all rioters to pick up a copy and understand ‘the man’ instead of vandalizing private property and becoming 5 second celebrities on the local news.

So you don’t have any money to invest? Think again! The only capital is in between your ears (intelligence).

Redneck Investin’ 1.1

Gift Card Arbitrage

It’s possible on ebay to buy a face value gas card or gift card for less than the face value. The amount less will depend on the auction – you won’t have any guarantees here. But for example it’s possible to buy a gift card for a retailer, 20% or even 40% discounted! That means you could theoretically buy a $100 gift card for $50, $60, $70, or $90. In many cases they’ll be in the money or in some strange cases out of the money. We’re not going to point to any particular ebay listings to be fair – but they’re there. Know what to look for! Be sure you’re bidding on a GIFT CARD or GAS CARD that can be used to BUY GAS, or in a retail shop to buy PRODUCTS. Make sure you are NOT bidding on a REWARDS CARD or other form of ‘special discount’ card. Gift cards are no different than cash insofar as their spending ability. Good luck!

Crisp $100 Bill sales

For some reason unbeknownst to the author, buyers are willing to pay more than $100 for a crisp, unused $100 bill. Why? Don’t ask – we don’t know! But it’s legal, and the premium can be upwards of 20% or even greater! But there’s a catch, getting fresh bills aren’t easy. Plus, if you want to buy a whole ‘strap’ it’s going to cost you $10,000 for the whole 100 lot of $100 bills, which may be beyond your 401 Keg budget. So you’ll have to get a few individually broken out of the strap, which will need to be organized by your local bank branch. They probably won’t call you when they come in, so this may involve you going into the branch daily at a certain time (usually, banks will receive money deliveries at the same time daily or weekly depending on the population of the local area.) Anyway, as many as you can obtain, you can load them up on ebay and rake in a risk free tidy profit! Don’t forget to calculate ebays fees, and shipping.

Fountain Coin Cleaning

WARNING – THIS MAY BE ILLEGAL IN SOME AREAS. CHECK WITH LOCAL LAWS AND LANDOWNERS BEFORE TRYING THIS. Some fountain owners may want a cut!

Many people believe that it’s ‘good luck’ to throw coins into fountains. Other people think it’s ‘good luck’ to collect these coins and deposit them into their bank account! Do this at night, around 3am – 5am when there’s the least chance of a coin tosser seeing you. It will depress them and they will not throw coins in other fountains, thus damaging your future income. NEVER COLLECT ALL COINS IN A FOUNTAIN – it will confuse coin tossers the next day, they will think this is a ‘no toss’ fountain. Always leave 20% of coins to remind tossers that this is a ‘please toss’ fountain.

Golf Ball recovery and sales

Golfers are, well, there’s a lot of golf balls in lakes and water traps near golf courses. Public courses are not as highly protected as the “Elite” country clubs, and it’s more likely to find a fellow Redneck groundskeeper willing to let you in at night to go night diving for balls. He may want a cut of your spoils – be fair and share! This is an honest job; the balls are in the water usually rotting away covered with moss and other lake elements that will ultimately deteriorate the balls. Fancy courses have systems to rake the balls out of the water, but most municipal courses don’t. Be fair, show you care! Don’t charge more than $1 or $2 per ball. If you’re in Florida – beware of Alligators.

Be sensitive to the local culture. Remember this sign, in California – no martinis in the pool, please!